Another Recipe for Happiness: Jazz, Good Health, and Bad Memory

I attended a jazz festival in UCLA last weekend, the day one of a 2-day UCLA Jazz and Reggae festival. It was an outdoor festival with a big stage, on grass field covered with people, and various food and retail vendors set up all around. It was a beautiful and sunny day. I enjoyed it.

Dianne Reeves, one of my favorite jazz singers, was among the performers. She was awesome. She did a couple of songs including one from the end of George Clooney's film "Good night and good luck" that were quite touching. It somehow took me back to the painful days. It still hurt but it it good to remember that it was all over.

Later on when I was walking through the temporary vendors stands, I saw a T-shirt with the following quote:

"Happiness is having a good health and a bad memory." -Ingrid Bergman

Yeah, that is what I need: a bad memory to forget that it ever happened.

What is ahead?

It was 5 AM as I was heading to the Bay Area from LA. As I was going through the Grapevine, a heavy fog was covering the road in the dark. It was a bit eerie. I had dreaded going up there since I moved. This time it was no better. The wounds were still pretty much open. It would be one of my last trips till I got rid of the house.

As the sun started rising later on behind the heavy fog in the middle of the desert, I had a strange sensation. There was a moment of clarity in which a wave of emotions like an electric charge ran through me. I felt an energy surge. I let go of the fear and I challenged the unknown ahead of me. I started to look forward to the trip and to the journey beyond. I pushed on the accelerator. The car was ripping through the waves of fog.

A New Life?

I wasn't really looking for a new job but I got a new job offer from a company in Orange County! I am ready for a new job. But I have to move for this one. I didn't really want to. I was too weak to let go and leave. But there was nothing to hold on to. This was the break that I needed. This was the light at the end of the tunnel for me. After weeks of back n forth, soul searching, and talking to people and her, I decided to go for it. I had to. This was my chance to get away from it all. It was time to move on...

A new job, a new place, a new life. Embrace change.

Fix Me
Last night I saw Coldplay in concert in San Jose. I happened to find a floor ticket just hours before the show on eBay. It was a beautiful concert. I gained an appreciation for their music as I was not very familiar with it. Chris Martin, the lead singer, is versatile and tallented equally on voice, guitar, and piano/keyboard.

She was also there, but not with me. Up in Section 201 to the right. Every time the lights came on, I looked up scanning Section 201, looking for her. I never found her. I wanted her next to me, with me. The concert could've been a whole other trip that way. I need some serious fixing...

Song: Fix You
Album: X&Y
Artist: Coldplay

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

High up above or down below
When you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just watch and learn

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Naked Angel
This one is dedicated to my "naked angel"..."with her legs apart".

Poem/Song: Paper-Thin Hotel
by Phil Spector & Leonard Cohen
from album "Death of a Ladies' Man" by L. Cohen
1977

The walls of this hotel are paper-thin
Last night I heard you making love to him
The struggle mouth to mouth and limb to limb
The grunt of unity when he came in

I stood there with my ear against the wall
I was not seized by jealousy at all
In fact a burden lifted from my soul
I heard that love was out of control
A heavy burden lifted from my soul
I heard that love was out of control

I listened to your kisses at the door
I never heard the world so clear before
You ran your bath and you began to sing
I felt so good I couldn't feel a thing

And I can't wait to tell you to your face
And I can't wait for you to take my place
You are The Naked Angel In My Heart
You are The Woman With Her Legs Apart
It's written on the walls of this hotel
You go to heaven once you've been to hell

A heavy burden lifted from my soul
I heard that love was out of control